well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Boobs are out for the taking
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
