I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
