And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize