It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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