the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
