Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
