I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
