Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
