yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
