I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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