I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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