i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize