he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize