Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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