Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
