Define "chronic" masturbator.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
