sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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