The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
