i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dear god my vagina.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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