he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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