I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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