You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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