So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's rum buckets o'clock
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
