It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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