Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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