weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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