her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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