i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
