Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
