He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Can Purell be used as lube?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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