just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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