pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
