if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
