Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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