I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
BRING THE BAGELS
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
