Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
