Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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