so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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