I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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