if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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