i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
