you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
