I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
