Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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