Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
