Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
