Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
