I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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