their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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