Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize