your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
