It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
