carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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