found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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