You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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