you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
