Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he shaved USA in his pubs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize