At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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